we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize