O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
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I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
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I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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