Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Are these your boobs on my camera?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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