I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize