you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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