he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize