Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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