First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize