You just made me feel so damn special
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
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She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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