Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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