he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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