so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize