haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
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