Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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