seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize