My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
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