I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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