Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
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im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
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