The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize