Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
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Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
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Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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