So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
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His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
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The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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