its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize