apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
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