i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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