Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
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I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
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