just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize