I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
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I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
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In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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