in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
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I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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