I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
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