She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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