This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
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And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
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WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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