uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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