I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize