Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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