nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
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You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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