somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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