yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
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Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
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not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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