my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Randomize