I must be too annoying 4 u.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
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I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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