just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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