It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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