i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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