Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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