..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize