I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize