the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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