At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
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Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
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Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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