also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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