Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Randomize
Follow @tfln