I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize