I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
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There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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